Last month it was Bell Let's Talk month. You usually see special banners and advertisements through many social media platforms that encourage people to talk about mental health and create more awareness. This year, I did not see as many as I have in the past, not sure if it's because I've been limiting my exposure to some of that so I don't become overwhelmed or if it's because people are not sharing as much as they have in the past, or both. Either way, it's still an important subject any time of the year and not just in January.
Last month I had a pretty severe panic attack. It was not one of my shining moments and thankfully my husband was home to calm me and reassure me through it. At one point in time that afternoon, my youngest came to me huddled in my bed with tears on my face and pillow, and asked: Mom, are you sick? To which I replied the standard answer I have usually given my kids: No, sweetie, I just have a bad headache and don't feel well. This typically lets the kids know that I need rest and time by myself and I can regroup. I have been prone to suffering migraines, but this was not one of those times.
After several hours and some of my own reflective thoughts, I decided that the answer I have given my children is not the correct one. Even if it gives me space and time to collect my thoughts and feelings, it doesn't give them the necessary information about their mom and how to deal with that situation if it arises for them or someone else they know and love. So later that evening I pulled my little one aside to talk.
I told my little one that although I wasn't 'sick' with a cold or flu, I am sick, but not in a way she would think. My brain is tired and sick. It sometimes, more often than not, makes me sad or angry because of silly little things or no real reasons at all. It is not her fault or her brother's or her dad's that I am sad or angry, and nothing they did or can do makes it that way, it just happens. And while they know I see a professional counsellor regularly to deal with being sad or angry, I told my little one that I also take medication to help my brain and sometimes even that doesn't help.
If we want to change the stigma of mental health and awareness, it needs to start at home. With us, with our children. To accept the many differences of everyone and how some people need extra help and it isn't a bad thing to see a professional to deal with sad or angry feelings and take medication when you need it so that you can be better. There are so many tools available today that weren't around years ago to help people who struggle and we need to stop thinking it is because of weakness that they are needed. If we want to break the cycles of anxiety, depression and even abuse, we need to prepare ourselves and our children for better mental health right from the start.